Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Billy, don't be a hero!

You know what today is? Garbage day! But now garbage day is a lot different than it was when I was a child. Back in the day, garbage was garbage and recycling wasn't something that got picked up, but something that you brought to someone else... and they gave you cash for it!

I guess it kind of works like that now... except you don't get the cash. The homeless guy who goes though your recycling making a mess tossing bits around to find the juicy nuggets, gets the money. Like the good citizens they are they take that money and spend it on drugs and lessons on how to curse at invisible people and poop yourself.

I'm going to keep it short today, but here it is (ye) When I am king it will be illegal to go though people's garbage or recycling. It will be illegal to have a shopping cart to.. just like now! Except when I'm king that cop that's pulling you over for doing a rolling right when no one is around won't be pulling you over, they'll be arresting people for stealing shopping carts.

I know this all sounds draconian, and maybe it is, but I'm sick of it. When I didn't have money for drugs I did what every kid would do, I got a paper route. I even walked it and made sure all the papers when in mailboxes. I'd collect my $1.35 a week and with my cut I'd buy Tastey Kakes French Apple Pies (west coast, you don't known what you're missing) Cherry Slurpees and LSD. The point is, I wasn't a mentally ill person (except for the times I was tripping) who hadn't showered since Carter was president pushing around a shopping cart though quite neighborhoods at 6:00 AM. It's so damn depressing.

Also, when I'm king there won't be any homeless. Does anyone believe that the homeless people wandering around are just down on their luck? If you're angry at me now, please read this.

Are you back yet? I lived near NYC though that controversy and here we are 20 plus years later still at the same place. Billy just wanted the right to act bat shit crazy on the streets of NYC, that's all. How dare we lock her up for her life choices! HOW DARE WE!?

Well I dare. Reagan thought it was a great idea to empty the mental health facilities here in California. Way to go Gipper. Why weren't we outraged? These people aren't bad, and they're not eccentric hobos of the depression era. They are mentally ill citizens of the richest country of the world and we're pretending to grant them liberties so we can use the money it takes to properly care for them on secret government departments who are developing superhuman soldiers. I'm not calling for Victorian asylums. My guess is that with the money we get from all the bottle deposits they're stealing we can afford decent hospitals like the one that Hurley goes to when he's feeling a bit off. We are letting people who need help the most down. When I'm king, this will not do.


Finn's Mama said...

Dear King Mark,
Can you PLEASE outlaw weird downstairs neighbors killing roosters for dinner in my backyard?

zerocrossing said...

The odd thing is that it probably already IS against the law. Don't worry about it, as when I'm king you'll have a nice wing in my castle!