Tuesday, January 13, 2009

When I am King.

So, for quite some time now it's been obvious to me that my true calling lies in my skill to become supreme ruler of the world. This is best shown by my ability to make people generally ignore me unless I act in a silly way or say something stupid. With this in mind, I shall set out to use this blot to outline various changes I'd make to our current system making the world a paradise once again. I won't stop until bluebirds tie ribbons in every one's hair and stem cell research supplies a solution for my thinning hair.

So, to begin I will start small. We all know that a lot of small changes can end up making a huge impact on the planet so here goes.

When I'm KING, people who do the speed limit or under in the fast lane shall be put in a stockade for a day and smeared with human excrement. It's rude and shows that you are only thinking of yourself and your lack of need to get anywhere in a timely fashion. Move it or lose it, and the it shall be the state you're in when you're not in a stockade with poop all over you. This will also be a punishment for those who feel it's OK to move into the fast lane when all the traffic is going the same speed and thus making the safe amount of car lengths between me and the car in front of me a not safe amount of car lengths.

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